Many of us still haven’t quite figured out who we are yet. What makes me happy? What makes me feel content? Not what does my significant other do to make me happy, what do I do? Myself? Too many people believe that once you find “true love” they will be happy, but what they don’t realize is that if you let someone else control your emotions, then what are you? An empty body waiting to be filled with a different soul is what you have become. YOU are going to have to live with yourself for the rest of your life, even if you do live with your significant other. They are not you. They are not always going to be right next to you, experiencing what you are going through. They do not always understand what’s going on inside your uniquely wired brain, so why should they be in charge of you? They do not feel or show emotion in the same way that you do, so walk to the edge of that cliff, and take the plunge.
It is terrifying to have to stand alone, but once you take that leap of faith and be yourself, you will enjoy life so much more. Don’t wait for someone to save you, save yourself.
It is not selfish to put yourself first sometimes, it is absolutely necessary. On this journey of life, we are supposed to find ourselves (maybe multiple times). We are constantly growing and changing and the friends that you had in high school may not be your friends now. AND THAT IS OKAY. Drop the negative people that are holding you back from growing and achieving your goals. Like I said, your happiness shouldn’t have to depend on others.
Make your own self happy, dammit. Read that book you’ve secretly been eyeing up, go to a movie by yourself, or take yourself on a date. Learn to be independent. How are you supposed to make others happy if you can’t even make yourself happy? Find a hobby or activity that you love and pursue it. The more you spend time with yourself, the more you will discover.
I am not saying that you should drop all relationships this instant and go on an adventure to find your calling, but I am saying that you should take time to notice things about yourself. Notice what makes you happy, what irritates you, and what keeps beckoning to you in the back of your mind. Those are signs leading you towards your purpose, follow them. You would be surprised at how much getting to know yourself actually helps your relationships. You feel more confident in your own skin and don’t feel the need to always have someone with you to feel whole, because you know how kickass you are by yourself. People are more attracted to you because you have that happy energy, and they want that too. You owe yourself that love that you so freely give to other people.
“Learn to be alone without being lonely, learn to admire your beauty without finding fault, and learn to love yourself without the love of others.”
Self love and discovery is one of the tougher parts of life. You will find yourself crying at 2 a.m. because you no longer recognize the person staring back at you in the mirror, and that is absolutely horrifying. You feel like you have forgotten who you are and what you stand for. Lonely is your top adjective. However, this too shall pass. You WILL find yourself. Wouldn’t it be great to know and enjoy yourself instead of relying on others to live for you? Get comfortable with yourself, you got a whole life ahead of you and the best is yet to come.